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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Esto - Picking up the Pieces

Lately I've been questioning my reason.  Over the past months I've seen things so great and vivid that I'm sure Yahvo himself was involved and yet I know how this sounds.  What's more: though I know how long these experiences occurred I find it hard to believe I have been away for so long.  Life in the cavern has gone on and things have changed.  My friend Adelia has apparently gone missing; and to think - exactly a year ago we met at the CAVCON party.  Pantaleon has organized a search party.  I would join myself, but other events have tied my hands.

I've also been met with news of death in the cavern and have aided in the identification of many of the explorers.  In the years I've been coming to this city, I've never witnessed a cave-in like this.  I hope this isn't something we have to get used to.  The DRC always seemed a pain to the explorer community, though I cannot think of an occurrence of this magnitude under their watch.  Now only a few ResEngs remain and I find myself wishing the DRC were still with us.  A GoME messenger has circulated a list of the fallen asking for help in contacting their next of kin on the surface.

As for my own family, I fear that my absence has left them in the dark.  Doubtless they would have searched for me.  I want nothing more than to return to them and assure them of my safety, but the work I've been left with here prevents me from doing so.  Should I return it is likely I would be stripped of access to my Relto; even should I manage to get it back, a second disappearance would only worry them further.  It seems cruel, but I must let them continue to think of me as lost for the time being.

I have spent a great deal of time working with Dean, or as he now prefers - MidnightSun.  We began in The Watcher's Sanctuary making copies of Words.  Upon returning to Takotah II we began deciphering the works.  These Words, I know them.  Of all things I experienced in the Star Fissure these Words permeated the space.  Their meaning: Yeesha is The Grower.  While the truth of these words is known to me I find there are some passages that elude me.  Somehow I find the answer lies in the new symbol on my shoulder.
MidnightSun tells me the journey we took was false; yet if it is false then its lies have been irrevocably intertwined with truth.  This Triple Shell motif has foundations in Words and yet, this symbol on my arm is rooted deeper.  I find myself wondering why we're here pouring over these texts when their meaning is clear to both of us.  MidnightSun's only answer has been that it is preparation for a Journey.  After months of blinding truth, this riddle frustrates me.  "The passing of time brings the path to the gathered."  I must rest in the truth of these words.

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